Action: We see a theater stage concealed by red velvet curtains.
Narration: Welcome to Mike's Charity Puppet Theater. Today's show is "Oswego, NY: The Murder of Innocence"
Narration: All proceeds from today's show will go to the Red Cross to help with disaster relief in Haiti.
Action: The stage curtain parts. We see a cat torso and a rabbit torso on stage, each on a stick, dripping blood and spilling entrails.
Cat Torso: Oh Ezra, I am gravid with child, and the breeze from Lake Ontario chills me so.
Rabbit Torso: My love, I cannot bear to see you so vexed. I shall purchase a parasol from the sundries monger.